Dying for a Man's Best Friend

I know I'm extraordinary in a way, but it's weird. My whole life I dream to have a man's best friend. A pup, a dog, or even a cat. It's a creature I would die to have as I was always that left out guy, that isolated friend at the front of the class while everyone hides at the back. Worse is I thought I was over with it, but currently my frequency of feelings just went wildfire, for reasons I don't even know.

It sounds like crap but I really feel like I own no friend in a universe I don't mean to belong. Of course I have friends, but to be honest, everyone knows that most friends are just 'surface friends' that look cool on the outside, but rarely had a conversation with. Well I myself don't give a damn about surface friends 'cause why? Why waste your caring soul to look cool & popular on the outside? I seriously don't get why, and I rather own a soul partner that both sides care & love each another.

Head bump!

Yes it's random I started on this crazy topic, but I couldn't stand it any longer. Many friends of mine may not know this, but I was "gifted" a true hatred for gossips & stupid chats. If hate's not the word, then tired it is. Because these awful chats bring me to nowhere but pointless enthusiasm & sometimes anxiety. Plus it doesn't benefit anyone, so why should I join? But don't get me wrong, of course I would lend an ear if it was from someone who really matters, someone who's worth my listen (my bff's an excellent example). Back to the ones who gossip everyday in class, is that what your life's full of? I don't mind telling you, it annoys me every single day, and I don't join them since I woke up from being an underdog or some sidekick, officially done being one.

My family never understood why I wanted a pup so much, that much till I can look at dogs through their viewing panels in pet shops for an hour; that much till I could risk myself & try to bond with growling street dogs. Because to me, it's something I needed the most. I lack sociality, an output to express myself, self-love & stability. I don't ask for much but just a man's best friend, you're telling me that's too much? They think I just want one to play with it whenever I feel like to, and then dump it back to the cage when I don't have time for it, which is one of the things I couldn't stand when pet owners do that. Even worse, pointing fingers at me predicting that I would do that to a dog? It's hurtful as heck, ain't am I already hurt enough?

Soldier companions are the warmest ones.

Still, at the end, I believe no one is going to get this. My love for animals is that enormous & my need for it ain't a millimetre tinier than it either. Guess I gotta wait till I have my own house when I'm bigger. Though I doubt that I can even touch that stage of life.