Evening ladies & gents! (and puppies & squirrels & jellyfishies) It's been some time since I hit the not-musical-but-alphabetic keys, today shall be granted the day!
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Here's an adorable meow to make your day! |
The topic for today's article is leaning towards my unspoken preferences about the earthlings around us. Before I began, this post is provoked by a sudden spark of impression which came streaming into my wires, shot up straight into my wakeful head. Know it or not, a friend I have stuck on me for as long as I could remember has been bothering my scrambled thoughts for long. Could say we were close for reasons we must, well honestly I never felt myself being with her. She knows parts of my secrets, lots of time of mine was spent with her, but like I said, we were close for reasons we
must. She might even be reading this right now, the continuing words might smash her bruised heart. This time, no one's going to obstruct me with a halt sign, I finally understand a part of myself, and here's my rarely told fondness towards the friends I make.
I heard things, true things from people I trust. Not just that, but with stabbing eyes, looks do explain a person's traits sometimes. To her, it's in year 2015; To me, it's been five years. Few months ago, I sort of hammered her a partial page of my empty feelings towards our strained friendship. Bluntly I said, "Our bond is not going to last. Probably caused by our ruthless past in hidden cloak." Not explaining much, that's what I briefed & since then, we're strolling on the silent edge of our connection. Here's the blast, what I said was very incorrect. Our bond is not breaking off, it
never started. Yes I tried passing her the keys to my gate of buddy association, but she's just not the kind I could bear with. Even worse, I own a fear towards people similar to her. A fear of
hurting the already hurt spawned from my inconsiderate honesty. Experiences.
If you're reading this, 'her', sorry in advance for my choice of expressions. Here's what you need to stop trying to pick the heavy duty lock of mine (also to shut you up). Your idea of me breaking the relationship deserves a buzzer from X-Factor, furthermore you triggered my loathe towards misunderstandings. It's not because of our competitive past at all, but the explosion when our traits meet. Don't you get it? You're just not able to be the pal I could lend a shoulder to cry on. You're just not fitting to even be the simple friend I could sit in class with. Our basic characteristics, common or not, don't even stand a chance to click. Telling you my problems made me felt worse & regret, the advice you gave made me anxious instead. And I don't blame you, not everyone can get along, that's how you build up BFF & enemy relationships. So I'm begging you, stop trying.
Do you know how stupid you sound when you told my buddy that once I own a true best friend, I could never let anyone in anymore? Bullshit. Here's something to understand, not like the majority, I prefer a small amount of friends who mean the world to me than a huge number of so-called buddies (aka school popularity). Thus, I have the guts to kick unwanted people out of my life, which is what I'm braving towards you once our 'forced-to-shake-hands-contract' is over. Think again, it's a normal phenomenon that happens to everyone! You meet someone, he/she does something which disobeys your liking, you'll definitely stop having conversations with that person, no? I suppose this clearly explains my fear of
hurting the already hurt.
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To maybe fill up the hole I just dug in hearts of many, the brief statement I would like to release is, the awfully close friends who I click with are the ones who own honesty at first, loyal, logically-supportive and
real. Yup I appreciate it when someone runs up to me & shoots opinions/critism into my face. Most of all, it feels amazing when the friend share the same dreams as I, but instead of fighting over rankings & shit, we are able to lift each other up & feel happy for each other's achievements. That's truly something rare for me to find, especially for someone who's terribly competitive in EVERYTHING. The above explains why the bond between Nedd & I is unbreakable no matter how you try to saw the strings. It was not about the tragic incidents, but the person you stand to be.
Have a great week, Alanis xx.