Today while my butt warmed up the passenger seat of my dad's car, getting a second ride to my future college's Open Day, I looked in the mirror wondering about how I look & did I wear proper enough to not let myself down in front of lecturers & administrators. It was nothing fancy to start with, just a blue jersey-material tee with sweat pants, toed with a pair of muddy trainers. Basically, I look like shit & could look better with effort, but somehow I didn't care. Then the thoughts came in about what would people think of my thoughts regarding this topic. And it went deeper, more irrelevant & so. I'm a deep thinker in weird stupid thoughts, you see. But these are the things my creativity generator fueled on in order to keep my interests running. My blog, for example.
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| Sums my life up. |
Anyways, back to topic before I float away again. My thoughts found me the urge to write a post about my thoughts on getting dressed every single day. In a way people could understand relatably, so here's it. First, I'd like to express that getting dressed irritates the heck out of me sometimes, in a way similar to how girls stare at their wardrobe complaining they have no clothes to put on, but with a mini twist. I have so many aspects swirling around in my head when it comes to dressing myself. Not to look like a guy but my clothes make me look like one, not wearing the same clothes over & over again, trying to look feminine but at the same time look cool, all these inessential judgements kills me. What's worse is after tucking on & flipping out clothes for half an hour, I often end up losing the motive to dress to impress & would just put on pyjamas and leave the house. The girl who gives zero fucks.
I struggle more on not wearing the same stuff over & over again than not looking like a guy (nah it's the same). My favourites you could possibly see me wear 4 times a week are my black skinnies, the only pair of converse I have & printed jerseys. These items are always on me 24/7 because their simplicity expresses my style. Yes I do wash them, so don't keep asking me why I'm so boring. Might be surprising to you, I do love crop tops, muscle tanks and more feminine clothing but they always get changed out before I leave my room. I just can't accept them tucked on me for a reason I myself don't understand, but I'd love to wear them out! Skirts are a no no, doesn't mean dresses stick in the same category as them. Although I only own two summer dresses, I'm dying to get more but at the same time I suck at getting them on me before leaving my bedroom. How's that a struggle for you guys?
As a tumblr-ish 17 year old who definitely has a feminine touch in her that people often unintentionally smack that off by hurting insults, fashion does play a huge part in my life although I don't prove much of it everyday. I'd love to make fashion hauls & Ootd vlogs based on my style on YouTube but I constantly have a feeling that people won't accept that coming out from me. Probably because I'm a straight tomboy who has spilled my wrong first impression to people, now having to live up to it. I'm not what I seem to appear most of the time, so you should learn how to stop locking a personal judgement of someone's look once you knew (or thought you knew) them. And hey, I'm not exactly a boring human being who can survive with wearing cargo shorts & a dusty tee all the time, didn't get my dad's genes for this one! (Sorry dad)
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| Staph. |
Nonetheless, just dress to be you, the real you I mean. Sometimes people just don't care.
Stay crazy, Alanis xx.
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