The Boy Who Changed

It all began two years ago. Nothing much, our first glance of each other in school. It's astounding that we only met after three years being in the same environment. But our meet was a mistake I should had known at the start.

The actual stare was in January 11, 2014, where we share the same band in some club I'm pretty active in. I was the assistant head of the band, which means I'm sort of his 'senior' although he's a year older than me. During ice-breaking session, he was sort of the only person responding to questions, I guess that's when I situate more awareness on him than the others. Without regards, we started chatting online almost every day. He would began it with questions concerning the club, then slowly drifting away to unrelating contents that kept the conversation going. To be frank, I was comfortable with this happening, as I felt being mildly cherished in a way I was never before. Our talks were arbitrary, which is something I looked forward to after coming back from boring school.

Months passed, our chats never came to a halt. Our relationship became distinct, but without the terms of love. I would say a guy best friend of mine. We shared our life happenings, glee, hatred, everything exactly. I was temporarily out of solitude, surprising I know. The indelible chapter was during the night of a camp in a forest. We lay supine on cold beige ground, head to head, enjoying the beauty of dense midnight blue and glowing stars. It was a phenomenon not everyone could live, a memory I could never forget.

But I was drowning in oblivion.

Weeks later, we skyped about random thoughts again. Out of the blue, he created an epiphany. He first asked me for a favour, I agreed. He then unveil words I never hope to hear.

He fell in love with a close friend of mine.

I stunned like rock, not knowing what to feel. Lucky that we weren't skyping through video. Momentarily shutting down my feelings, I congratulated him with emojis and suggested ways for his success to chase his girl of dreams. Minutes later I ended the call, breaking down forthwith on my pillow. I suddenly realise I was crushing on him all the while. Our bond was so ephemeral I didn't know how to drag it to an end.

Soon, his relationship with the girl he love shattered into bits without a single doubt from the spectators. It was kind of presumed from their different types of traits that hardly click.  Me on the other hand was crippled, vanquished. I found out he treated other girls like how he treated me. To be more specific, he was basically flirting to every other girl I know. I attempted to let it go, but it couldn't break free unless I spit the truth. And I did after a deep breath during our last friendly chat. It certainly didn't went well, but my gloom soon freed itself into the past. Hooray?

Time pass while I observe the change of our lives. Soon I thanked myself for not crushing too hard on him. He isn't the guy I thought he is. He took a turn after his graduation. Changed his looks from smart to trashy. I don't know. I sort of taste grief of not understanding him utterly before I lay my crush, but also because I don't want him to change. I want him to stay as that boy who's neat, astute, kind. Maybe he doesn't know he once owned these qualities, but he truly did, at least in people's eyes. To be honest, I experienced a dash of relief and joy too as I'm completely over him.

To the boy who changed: If you're reading this, pause and refresh your mind. You're driving on the wrong side of the road, and it's not too late to make a U-turn. Change not for me or the people around you, but yourself. Please.